East Coast Adventures: Key West

I only spent 30 hours in Key West, which probably is not enough time anywhere but I did pack a bit in. I pretended I wasn't sick anymore, which is an interesting strategy that I don't recommend, necessarily. Key West is well summed-up by their motto, which is "drunks with fishing problems". Wait, no that's not the official motto, the official motto is "One Human Family". Both are accurate and equally embraced. I also could not get the Beach Boys song, Kokomo, out of my head. You know, "off the Florida Keeeys, there's (actually not) a place called Kokomo, we'll get there fast and then we'll take it slow..." You know the one.

I caught the bus from Miami at the crack of dawn on...Monday? Yeah, I'm pretty sure Monday. The men in Miami get their sleaze on early in the morning, I had some interesting offers as I waited for the bus, to say the least. This time, I actually stayed awake for  most of the bus trip, which was about 4 hours across the overseas highway and through the Keys. Spectacular views and driving, although not the best for photography on a bus. My favourite were the telegraph poles coming out of the ocean. Is that safe?

I got into Key West about midday, and checked in to the gorgeous Caribbean House, run by Marie, the sweetest lady in the world, and a pack of Yorkies that were everywhere with their funny little Yoda ears.

I had about a 10 minute turnaround to get down to the wharf for my snorkeling trip.

Snorkeling at the end of the flu is also not the best. My theory that the ocean fixes everything did not come to be true, and actually it really sent some things into overdrive. Like coughing. And snot. Anyway, the weather was beautifully hot and it was a nice trip out to the reef. It seemed like most people on the trip were on some type of honeymoon or romantic getaway. As in, I was the only person there who was alone. So, what does the only alone person do when the safety system is to 'buddy up'? Buddy up with the handsome captain, of course! Seriously, don't feel sorry for me being alone. Handsome. Captain. We tried to catch lobsters all afternoon. Life could be worse.

Being Key West, the ride back involved free drinks, which was fun. Except, this is disgusting, I sat down-wind from a guy who sneezed. He sneezed in my face. IN MY FACE. He caught me wiping it off my face, and I just, well I think really it was more embarrassing for him. Yeah, I had sneeze on my face, but he was mortified. Four hours in the sun, snorkeling, sneeze-in-my-face and drinking were not good remedies to being sick. I went back to my guest house, and passed out in front of the air-conditioning before forcing myself on a trip to Duval Street through the shops, then down to the southernmost point of America and past Ernest Hemmingway's house.

Every night Key West has a sunset party at Mallory Square. Really, just the most breathtaking sunset I've ever seen, I think.

 
I got my tarot cards read by a guy who looked a lot like the clairvoyant in the Wizard of Oz ("you're running away"), he had lovely eye make-up, and big bright jewellery including a gem-stone fastened turban.  I don't think I like all the news he gave me for the coming twelve months, so I selectively recorded only the good things. There were lots of street acts including a guy eating a sword, another guy juggling fire, a comedian and two musicians with a dog that collected money. The square is packed with tourists and locals and you can buy all sorts of arts and knick-knacks. It was very tastefully done, and it seems like they select very carefully who and what makes up the market/performers. You know sometimes you go to things like that and it's row upon row of the same-old tacky bits and pieces, until it ends up feeling like the showbag pavillion at the Easter Show? This was more like a well curated museum, with just the right amount of tacky so as to render it 'kitsch'.

I stayed there for a couple of hours, there was a guy playing the guitar and singing some excellent classics, so I sat near him and enjoyed the serenity. I could hardly get home fast enough, though, feeling like I really over-did it and that I might faint. I actually fell asleep on top of the bed in my clothes, for a long while.

The next morning I enjoyed a lovely champagne breakfast (Key West = drinking, see?) and a Cuban coffee. Again, the heat was ridiculous. But I love humid heat, the way it slows everyone and everything down and how you're allowed to wear not much and spend as much time in and under water as possible. I had a look through a retired Coast Guard ship, Ingham, pretty cool. Then I took my sweaty self down to the beach at Fort Taylor. Heavenly, despite the trek to get there.

I finished up my Key West trip at a garden bar off Duval street. A clothing optional bar. I seriously didn't know this to begin with. Here's how I found out:
Bar tender: you can't use your phone up here
Me: oh, why not?
Bar tender: because there's no photography allowed. it's a clothing optional bar
Me: really?
Bar tender: *takes off clothes* yeah.

So...that was interesting. I kept my clothes on, had a drink with a few travelers in their 50's (who thankfully did not get naked), and then enjoyed a heated discussion with a man (also, thankfully, not naked) who was trying to tell me that a woman's role/goal in life is to civilize men. HA. Yeah, that was fun. Especially when he lamented that he couldn't find a partner. The bar tender (now clothed) and I were just so surprised at this!

All in all, a pretty good 30 hours. I'm sure I could spend a lot more time there doing not a lot. The food was great, the people all colourful characters and the vibe welcoming and relaxed. Next time, a few more days and no being sick would be the best.